Gary and Bristol’s Thanksgiving Pledge

Now that the mid-term elections are over… at least mostly, because we still have the run-offs, it’s time to look forward toward the holidays and to avoid any unnecessary friction at the Thanksgiving table this year, we’ve come up with a special Kiss Country Thanksgiving Pledge designed to make sure everyone has an enjoyable day avoiding any additional talk of politics!

So print this out, share it with your family, raise your right and hand and repeat after me!

• I promise to do my best to look forward to spending a day with my family and to look for the best in every situation, even when Uncle Gary tries to fry the turkey, frozen, again…
• I promise to do my best to remind myself how grateful I am to be surrounded by my family and friends on such an auspicious occasion, even though it closely resembles a Cajun swap meet…
• I promise to refrain from fighting, or at least from drawing blood or causing any injury that would result in a trip to the ER or a call to 911.
• I promise not to cuss like a sailor watching Thanksgiving day football games
• I promise not to bury my nose in my phone or TV screen
• I promise not to act like I'd rather be anywhere else than where I am... and that includes the deer stand...
• I promise to try every dish, even if it’s just a small bite, so I don’t offend anyone, no matter how suspicious it looks…
• I promise not to roll my eyes or make disparaging remarks about any of my kinfolks kids or their inappropriate or disrespectful behavior should it occur, oh heck, who am I kidding?
• I promise to keep my lip firmly zipped when the person at the table who is least in need of seconds goes in for a third helping of mashed potatoes…
• I promise to discreetly hide the bottle of Crown when Uncle Jack has had one too many…
• I promise to refrain from any topic regarding money or religion unless it's to say the blessing over the food or to talk about how great our Lord is…
• And lastly, I will, upon penalty of losing all future possibility of inheritance, refrain from speaking of anything regarding politics!