This is the week that deer hunters here in Area 2 of Northwest Louisiana have been dreaming of since the end of January!

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Deer season begins this Saturday, October 28th! It marks what I call my "annual divorce." It's because I spend as much time in the woods as possible. But, I'm not doing it for all the "time with the guys."

Gary Deer Hunting

Heck, no! It's my duty as the "hunter/gatherer" for my family! If you've priced groceries lately, you know that you've got to save, wherever you can. And deer hunters all over know that adding some "free" venison to the freezer helps out a ton. Right?

Well, hit the brakes a little. My wife has done a some work on the calculator and that assumption might be a little far fetched.

Milk Prices Set To Rise Sharply
Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images

It all started within minutes of my wife's return from an all-day shopping trip after picking up the items she needed to re-do the look in our kitchen and the main bathroom at the house.  And this is where I opened my pie hole and proved just how truly stupid I am.  I began to complain about the cost.

That's when she lit into me like a starving dog on a sausage biscuit.  “Well, what about your deer hunting?” she said.  My reply was one I thought to be logical.  “My deer hunting helps out on the grocery bill”.


She then explained to me how illogical my thinking really was.  “Oh, it helps on the grocery bill?  Well, let’s do the math on that.”

  • Your hunting licenses  - $200
  • Your deer lease fees - $1000
  • Automatic Deer Feeders - $600
  • Corn for the feeders - $200
  • The seeds and fertilizer for your food plots - $300
  • Your 4 deer rifles - $3,000
  • Ammunition - $200
  • The new 4 wheeler - $7,000
  • New deer stands - $1,000
  • Deer processing for 6 deer - $500
  • Camouflage clothing and boots - $1,500
  • Gas for back and forth to the camp for the season - $500
  • Groceries while you’re at the camp - $500

“So, if we get 250 pounds of venison from those 6 deer then we’re averaging nearly $66 a pound! Ribeye steaks are only $14 a pound there big boy."


It was then that I truly proved my ignorance and I said, "$66 a pound huh?  Sounds like it's about the same price as those high heels you just bought."

The doctor says the scar over my left eye is permanent, but the vision should return in a week or two.

10 Things Guys Should NEVER Say at the Deer Camp

There aren't a whole lot of rules for guys at the deer camp, but a man should always remember that his man card is on the line if he slips and says something like these things.

Gallery Credit: Gary McCoy

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