Shreveport/Bossier’s Hilarious Solutions to Barnswallows on Jimmie Davis Bridge
It all started when we took a phone call yesterday morning where a lady asked us "What can hold up the Jimmie Davis Bridge with one tweet?"
I laughed so hard I spewed coffee out of my nose. Of course, the answer is a barnswallow!
Never being the kind to resist much temptation, Bristol and I had to discuss the dilemma concerning the halting of the work on the Jimmie Davis Bridge due to the nesting of the barnswallows.
Apparently when barnswallows are nesting, Federal regulations won't allow them to be disturbed in any form or fashion.
So, in essence, the integrity of this bridge, and the safety of all those who travel across it daily, are forced to the backseat because birds have built nests on the bridge. Over 20 million dollars of repairs have been delayed because it might disrupt the nesting of a bird that most couldn't identify in a line up?
When we put the issue before our listeners, we came up with several workable solutions.
Biscuit, one of our regulars, suggested that we play the sounds of a hawk screeching day and night under the bridge. Course, we had to tweak that one a little and suggest that we play a recording of Roseanne Barr singing the National Anthem and run them off. However, Biscuit reminded us that wouldn't stop the birds; it would only have people jumping off the bridge.
One caller suggested that we hold a Barnswallow Barbecue and donate all the proceeds to PETA so they wouldn't get in a tizzy about what people were eating.
Melissa, another of our favorites, took that idea and suggested that we make that barbecue a little more upscale and call it "Taste of Barnswallow." We could invite all the area's best chefs to come prepare their favorite barnswallow recipes and maybe entice Two John's to make the winner a special on their menu.
Then there were those "intellectual types" of people who called in and had to spoil all the fun with their common sense approach to things. Each and everyone suggested we just wait until October and then the barnswallows would fly off and we could begin construction.
Yeah, that's probably the easiest solution, but it really lacks panache, and the other ways are so much more fun.