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I don't know why it feels slightly embarrassing, but I joined Facebook dating over the weekend. Maybe I'm old school, but I remember the days when if a guy liked a girl, he walked up and introduced himself and you knew right away if there was a 'spark.' Clearly, times have changed and dating apps seem to be the way to go.

Since I became a divorcee in 2020, I've been on my fair share of bad dates. I was on a first date at Nicky's and the guy wouldn't stop putting his hands in my hair. In fact, he was so handsy and inappropriate that a girl I'd never met followed me to the bathroom to make sure I was okay! Ironically, she was on a first date as well and she and her date had been reading my body language loud and clear from across the restaurant, but this poor guy just wasn't getting it! He kept mentioning that he was a millionaire. I guess he figured that gave him carte blanche to act how he wanted.

I went on one date a few months ago where the man, for the entire time, told me all of his ex-wife's embarrassing details. How could you ever trust someone after that to guard your privacy? You don't! That's when I knew there wouldn't be a second date.

Couple Arguing in Cafe
Scott Griessel

Now that I'm actively dating, I have so many unanswered questions. What if you have a great conversation but no chemistry? Do you give it a few more dates to see if something develops? How do you let someone down easy? How do you handle it when they're trying to let you down easy... or even worse, ghost you?!?!? And even better, how did you know there wouldn't be a second date?

A few years ago I turned to social media to ask for turn-offs and (hopefully PG) stories and experiences. Maybe we can all learn something together!

Tiffany Douglas said she knows there won't be another date if they don't have the ability to carry on a conversation or if they get plastered. I've always heard you start something how you want to end it, so if you want to be with a drunk, that's fine, but if not, steer clear!

Jeremy McFarland said, 'I told a girl one time my hopes and dreams and she said: “oh we will have to change that.” What?' Yikes, judgemental much?


Curt Carver said he's out if she belches after the meal. Here I am thinking that was a compliment to the chef! Brian Teegarden added, 'In my case years ago, it was when all she could talk about was an old boyfriend was coming back to town and how excited she was about it.' Yep, talking about an ex is a big old red flag!

Janet Brumley said she's out, 'When they talk about themselves nonstop, talk about their ex constantly, or are rude and demanding to a waitress. Cuss way too much. Are way too aggressive or touchy-feely on the 1st date! Sure there is more but those popped in to head 1st! Lmbo Very picky the older I get!!' All I can say is amen, sister!

Do you have any specific moments you'd like to share about when you know you're not going to extend yourself to a second date? Tell us! Share in the comments below, check out the other answers in the post, and give me a follow!

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