What Do You Do in New Orleans?

I am beyond excited for a long weekend in the Big Easy! My cousins and I are meeting up in New Orleans and unfortunately none of us have ever been. We have a great hotel booked and can't wait to eat ourselves into a food coma. Since we have never been and you can't trust Yelp reviews I need your help. I want to experience the best that New Orleans has to offer, and Siri is no help.

When you make the trip to NOLA where do you go? Where is the best coffee house? I have never had a Muffuleta. Beignets? What about amazing drinks? What are some cool haunted tours to check out? I want to pack in as much as I can in two days!

I know there are some things we shouldn't do. Like hang out in alleys and such. Are we really supposed to be careful with our purses? Any and all suggestions are highly welcomed and very much needed!