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Once again I've been asked to take part in a debate for the podcast, 'Master Debaters.' I was on the inaugural show and I was the first ever winner! I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty proud of that fact because the other two contestants have way more impressive things on their resume than I do. The same is true for this latest episode. Shhhh! Don't tell anyone, but I'm totally fangirling over one of the other contestants. I'll be competing against the one and only Matt Napolitano from Fox News Radio. Needless to say, I'm a fan. While I'm not familiar with the third contestant, comedian Roman Garcia, I'm not counting him out. Comedians are generally wicked smart with smart observation skills and have to be up on current events to stay relevant.

Now that we've got that out of the way, it's almost go-time and here's my argument. One caveat before I piss off every cat person I know. I am a cat owner. In fact, I have six. One house cat and five barn cats. They are all well loved and cared for. Thank you.

Topic: Dogs are better pets than cats.

While we're all creatures made perfect by God, some life forms are clearly more favored than others! After all, there's a reason why dogs are called, 'Man's best friend!'

Let's face it, dogs, by their very design are more affable than cats. Cats don't have owners. They have servants and they'll only interact with you when it's convenient for them. But that's just the beginning when it comes to why dogs are so much more preferable than cats as companion animals.

  • Dogs are great company. In fact, it's been proven, that people with pets did much better emotionally and physically during the pandemic, even those that lived alone, if they were a dog owner.
  • You can train a dog to do cool stuff like roll over and play fetch. I'm lucky if my cat feels like using the litter box.
  • Dogs help you get more active. After all, even when you don't feel like it, Spot needs to go for a walk!
  • Dogs offer protection. I have four dogs. If my two ankle biters don't sound the alarm, my two mastiffs will take you out if you're in my home and you're not invited.
  • Dogs are loyal. Cats don't care if you live or die as long as there's kibble.
  • Dogs are funny. Have you ever seen a dog watch TV and freak out when he sees animals on the screen? I have and it's hilarious.
  • Dogs are heroes. How many search and rescue or bomb sniffing cats have you heard about?
  • With a dog you'll never be alone. They'll go everywhere with you, even the bathroom.
  • If you're single, your dog is a great wingman.
  • They don't make entire TV series or movies about cats. ie: Lassie, Old Yeller, Beethoven, Marmaduke, Clifford the Big Red Dog, A Dog's Purpose, A Dog's Journey, The Art of Racing in the Rain, etc...

In closing, you may say the internet was made for cat videos. To you I say, it's because your screen is the closest you want to get to Fluffy with the sharp claws. Plus, if cats are so cool, why do we make fun of 'crazy cat ladies?' Finally, you've heard the joke about cats eating their owners when they die and they run out of food. I looked it up. It's not a joke. It's true.