Margarita Machines and Funerals

I have never read any formal reporting on the guidelines regarding acceptable reasons to be late for a funeralbut I imagine they might include: car trouble, illness, weather delay, dismemberment

I imagine that on the NOT acceptable list would be: Unbelievable sale on Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker/Ice Crusher

I’ve heard that you are the company that you keep, so I take partial  responsibility for the recent decisions made between Jimmy Buffett, my friend Jennifer, and I. There was recently a day that I had to help my closest friend as she reached out to me in what I can only describe as an ethical dilemma.

Jennifer made the long drive from Louisiana to Branson, Missouri for her Uncle’s funeral and a quick visit with her family. We all have our vices, and poor Jennifer cannot be within 50 miles of a strip mall/outlet shopping center/flea market/garage sale/dumpster with good stuff hangin’ out the side without stopping. (Do not try the last, I hear it is illegal although I have received gifts from my Mamaw that she proudly “saved” and I proudly received from the dump).

During my friend’s quick trip, the afternoon of the funeral, I received a phone call with a short of breath Jennifer on the other end of the line. I immediately prepared myself to console her. . .until I realize she is out of breath not from the emotional toll of her recent loss, but because she is speed walking through a store with the phone pinned between her ear and shoulder as both of her arms are occupied by the glory of a Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker ON SALE!! At this point I entered her ethical dilemma, to put back the Margarita Maker and high tail it for the door, or to stand in line and arrive casually late with a fine appliance in the backseat of her SUV that will bring her years of enjoyment. OHHHHH THE DILEMMA!!!!

I feel you judging us now.

But, I beg of you to consider the deceased. What Would Uncle ____ Do? Well, if he was my uncle, he would bring the Tequila and tell me to fill that machine up with ice!!

Funerals are to honor the deceased and their families. I highly recommend that you arrive respectfully on time. And if by chance you do not, by all means, toast those who are gone but not forgotten!