Bristol’s Kiss Country Burn Book
With National Mean Girls Day upon us, I decided it was time to create my own 'Burn Book' for the Kiss Country staff!
National Mean Girls Day is celebrated every year on October 3rd and it's the day fans of the cult classic let their inner Regina George out and let everyone know how they really feel! Since this year's holiday falls on a Wednesday, the first thing you have to do to celebrate is wear pink because every Mean Girls fan knows that we wear pink on Wednesday and have ever since the movie came out in 2004!
And if you're wondering why we celebrate on October 3rd, you're not as big of a fan of the movie as you thought you were because, duh! That's the day Aaron Samuels asked Cady Heron what day it was! Aaron is soooo FETCH!!!
So on with the burns... It's time to get PLASTIC!
Gary McCoy: I love this man but he is so redneck, he would take a fishing pole to Sea World... but then again, what do you expect from a man who would rather eat potted meat than sushi? He makes a regular redneck look city, however he still has those hemp shoes that I'm pretty sure his wife bought him. It's like he's a hipster redneck... I bet she told them they were boat shoes or that King George was seen wearing a pair.
Carter: This guy says he's country because he's got a beard like one of the Robertson's, but the truth is he wears flip flops, gets pedicures, uses bath bombs and facial masks. Do you honestly think this guy deserves a man card, much less the title of being 'country?'
Krystal: I'm a little afraid of Krystal. She's a stalker. Seriously, she stalks country music artists. It's almost like she treats them like Pokemon... Gotta catch them all! Sam Hunt might be tied up in her crawl space with a ball gag. I'm frightened!
Sam Alex: Sam Alex has soft hands. I'm pretty sure he's never thrown a bale of hay in his life... He's also short. I'm pretty sure when the flood comes he'll the first to drown... in his Garanimals!