The Life Of A Disc Jockey Gets Tougher Every Day

Every day, it’s my job to filter through countless news stories and try to find stuff that hopefully you haven’t already heard about a thousand times and at the same time, stuff you really care about.  And every day that job gets tougher and tougher.  Here’s a prime example from Forbes.com:

WASHINGTON -- That old moon might not be as antique as we thought, some scientist think. They say it's possible that it isn't a day over 4.4 billion years old. But other astronomers disagree with a new study's conclusions. They think the moon is up to its typical age-defying tricks and is really pushing 4.6 billion as they have suspected all these years.

Really?  This is news?  It really matters if the moon is 4.4 or 4.6 billion years old?  Just how relevant this is in the normal American’s every day life.  Are we worried that we won’t have the right amount of candles on the birthday cake?  Do we think the moon might sue us for the 0.2 billion years that we forgot to celebrate?  Are we concerned that the “poor little moon” went all its formative years with no guidance or someone to love it?  Just in case you’re lost in the depth of my thinking…THE ANSWER IS NO!  We don’t care….AT ALL.  Never will!  The real question here is “Who’s PAYING these astronomers to study this?”  I bet you know that answer already.  Now I bet you care.  Our country is in the midst of a war, one of its worst ever economies, an epidemic of illegal aliens….and we’re going to write about the age of the moon?  Hilarious!  Oh, by the way, tomorrow they’re supposed to release the 100,000 person study on the differences between mauve and lavender…I can’t wait.