Lafayette, LA (KPEL News) - Scrolling through social media, I stumbled upon a cooking video with the slug "learned this in Louisiana." I'm always looking for new and fun things to try, but what I found was not worthy of being referred to in the same sentence as the delicious state of Louisiana. As I watched and found more, the desire to message this poor misguided soul with the message: "Oh, mais no! Somebody lied to you, cher."

And then I discovered she had committed more than one Cajun cooking sin and made the sign of the cross at the atrocities I had witnessed.

NO MA'AM, I WILL NOT ADD THIS TO MY TABLE

I wonder if whoever led her down the wrong path told her she was, essentially, taking all the non-seafood goodness we find when we boil seafood and disrespecting them by putting them in the oven.

Old Bay may have its place, but certainly not anywhere near the corn, potatoes, and sausage you typically throw in with crawfish, shrimp, or crabs.

I'm not sure whether to pity her or be angry.

(Crosses myself again.)

PAUVRE BETE!

As if once didn't put enough stress on my heart that already struggles from my love of real Cajun food, she repeats the first mistake and makes it even worse!

In the previous video, she at least uses an aluminum pan.

Last time I checked, you could be from anywhere in the United States and have authentic Cajun sausage like Richard's or Savoie's shipped to you. Yet this lost soul chooses Hillshire Farms!

And what's with the shrimp! If you can't get Louisiana shrimp, just leave it out. That's truly an offense.

I admit I've used my crockpot to make several delicious dishes, but never in my south Louisiana life have I used a crockpot. I certainly would never use it to create this aberration.

I may have started crying when I saw the word "authentic" used in such a blasphemous way. And low country? Do what?!?

(Starts saying Hail Mary.)

NOPE NOPE NOPE

I enjoy homemade mac and cheese. Who doesn't?

Y'all, please call the Cajun cooking police.

Here we go with the shrimp again!

I have no words for the ways in which this offends my south Louisiana sensibilities.

(Saying a whole Rosary.)

I wish she would have shared who in Louisiana allegedly gave her these recipes, and I use the term loosely. A true south Louisianan, even one from Shreveport or Alexandria, knows we don't even cook using a recipe.

We should find out who that person is and slap them with charges of impersonation because no honest, God-fearing Cajun would have cast such evil upon an unsuspecting soul.

Or let's just call a priest because these recipes are demons.