How Big is the Age Gap Between Your Kids?
If you have children with a bigger than average age gap between them, you've probably heard quite a few cringe-worthy questions. I don't think that most people are trying to be awkward or insensitive, it just comes off that way. Personally, I have heard some pretty rude questions from folks so shocked that my kids are a full 10 years apart in age, they considered it an "alternative lifestyle."
If you find yourself flabbergasted by the obvious age difference in the children of someone you just met - just remember that it's not really any of your business. If you just can't keep your nose out of it, at least remember not to ask these key questions if you don't want to seem like a jerk:
1. Is one of them a "mistake," or "surprise?" - Even if this is the case, this is not cool to ask. Believe me, if it was an unexpected baby and there's a funny story about it - I'll share if I like you.
2. Is one of them from another marriage/relationship? - Sometimes people choose to wait on subsequent children in their relationship, maybe the child is from another relationship - once again not your business.
3. Aren't you worried they won't be close? - Shouldn't any parent of multiple children be worried about this?
4. Why did you start over? You were almost out of the game! - Nobody's schedule has to make sense to you.�� Maybe it was a plan, maybe it took a while to get the second one, maybe somebody lost a bet - the point is, there are a lot of valid reasons that folks space out their kids. None of them have anything to do with the approval of the masses, at least not in my case.
Even though the average age gap between siblings is about 12 to 14 months, there are lots of benefits to waiting longer. My wife and I were able to focus a lot on our first for years before adding another to our brood, that means no sibling rivalry. Also, not only is my son the most helpful big brother ever, but in a few short years - I'll have a built in (and free) babysitter!