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When it comes to horror movie scenarios, Louisiana has got you covered.  From swamp monsters, to haunted landmarks and everything in between - the Sportsman's Paradise is basically a Stephen King novel with way better food.

I am glad to know that I'm not the only one that thinks so.  According to a fun (and terrifying) new thought experiment by the folks at, one Louisiana city stands above the rest when it comes to zombie-outbreak survivability.  Before you start to think that we have way bigger problems in the world than worrying about make-believe monsters - just know you are wrong.

See, this whole line of reasoning is brought on by our own Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).  In an effort to educate the public on how to prepare for an emergency (any emergency), officials found that we the people are way more receptive when you make the message sexier - and that means adding zombies to the mix.

People Attempt A World Record For The Most Zombies In One Place
Photo by Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images

While it ranked #57 in the list of cities in the U.S. that would be best for staying safe against the undead hordes with a taste for brains, Baton Rouge was #1 in Louisiana!  Huntington Beach, California was #1 in the country - but based on these findings, we should be safe and sound in Red Stick.

Shreveport, on the other hand, faired much worse - we came in at a brain-munching 134th place.  The safest places for survivors in the Ratchet City would have to be Cross Lake's Bird Island (isolated from the mainland) or Fair Park Field (you already know it's going to be empty).

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These cities were graded on a few key metrics that make them the ultimate survivors' holdouts.  Things like the number of hunting goods stores per thousand living residents, the number of military bases, public health, and access to well-maintained trails calculated in to each cities rank.  Something that didn't factor into their list was Bossier City and the many surrounding communities.  These towns didn't meet the population requirement for this report, but to count them out entirely would be a mistake.

According to the report, major cities that were within a few miles of each other fared better because of shared resources.  If there's two things areas like Haughton, Benton, Keithville, and more understand, it's this: How to live off of and defend their land.

Migrant Workers Employed On Colorado's Largest Organic Farm
Photo by John Moore/Getty Images

All-in-all, I think Louisiana as a whole would do just fine if the impossible happens and the dead inexplicably begin to walk the earth.  Honestly, with as many spooky and downright scary things that happen on a day-to-day basis in this state, we're probably the most mentally prepared to handle it.

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