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Hey it's Gary and I've got an important announcement.  Kids need to GO OUTSIDE.  That’s why God made it so beautiful out there.  A stick and a pile of rocks are the cheapest baby sitters in the world.  They're spending way too much time indoors and I'm not going to allow it anymore. 

Have you paid attention to your kids lately?  I get home from work before my boys get home from school each day, so I get a pretty good look at what goes on in Casa De McCoy and I’ve decided I’m going to do something about it.

When I was a kid, my Mom had to threaten us kids to come inside.  Maybe it was because we didn’t get central air conditioning until I was about 14 years old.  Maybe it was because I lived in a cool neighborhood with lots of kids.  Maybe it was because we had the ugliest shag carpet you ever saw in our living room; or maybe, just maybe, it was because I was in high school before we even had Atari and anything was better than Atari.

We only had 3 channels on TV and my little sister was the remote control.  I remember when Shreveport first got cable TV and I was amazed.  I saw a naked woman on TV and I’m pretty sure it made me mentally unstable and explains a lot of what you have to deal with each morning.

There was just no reason to be inside.  Nothing cool happened there, except helping  Mom fold clothes and make your bed, and no self-respecting kid was going to do any more than he was made to do.  So that’s gotta be the ticket to get kids back outside, the way God intended it.

I’m seriously thinking of getting rid of satellite TV, doing away with DVD players, and throwing all Nintendo’s, Playstations, IPODS and all that crud in the trash.  I’m gonna replace all that stuff with things like “imagination” and “hard work.”  Things like yard rakes, lawn mowers, shovels and hammers.  The things my Daddy raised me on.  I don’t think I turned out too bad.

I just gotta make sure my boys never see a naked woman on TV.  It’ll ruin your entire life.  Course, that’s just how this man sees it.

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