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Researchers Say This Year’s Mosquitoes Will Be The Size Of Volkswagens

The recent floods across the state have left standing water pretty much everywhere. All of that standing water is a massive breeding ground for one of Louisiana’s worst pests, mosquitoes. Now, researchers say that the unfettered breeding of mosquitoes in some areas may cause our normal mosquito problem to become bigger. A LOT bigger.

LSU Professor Of Entomology Dr. Denis Franks says that the breeding of mosquitoes in areas of any environmental contamination could cause the mosquito to really beef up.

In lab experiments, we’ve exposed mosquito larvae to a wide range of chemical and environmental toxins, and what we’ve seen is a monumental increase in size. One group of mosquitoes grew so large that they broke out of their containment, and we think one mosquito in particular has learned how to open doors. This group is already out in the open, and could be breeding already.

It is unclear whether or not all mosquitoes will eventually grow to overwhelming size, but Dr. Franks is certain that some areas of the state will be affected.

In low lying areas, and anywhere there is a geologic basin, the threat for these giants is out there. We have to stay vigilant. I mean, what if these guys started to become more intelligent. We could be talking a full scale invasion here. God help us all if they figure out how to work a gun.

We reached out to the giant mosquitoes for comment, but our reporter was carried away, never to be seen again.

RIP Joe…we’ll miss you.

*Happy April Fool’s*

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