Motherhood:The Second Oldest Profession
Erma Bombeck’s book entitled “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession” should be required reading for all expectant Mother’s…and later used as a reference guide while she raises her children. Later on in life, it could essentially serve as a diary full of reflections on just how difficult, yet rewarding, Motherhood can be. Each year we love to share the Epilogue of this book as a salute to Moms for Mother’s Day.
While the Good Lord was creating mothers He was into his sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” And the Lord said, “Have you read the spec on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 movable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. Have a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a dissapointed love affair. And have six pairs of hands.” The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands…not possible.” ”It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.” ”That’s on the standard model?”, asked the angel. The Lord nodded. “One pair that see through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that see what she shouldn’t, but what she has to know. And of course, the ones here in the front that can look at a child when he goofs up and reflect, ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.” ”Lord,” said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, “come to bed. Tomorrow…” ”I can’t.” said the Lord. “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick… can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine- year-old to stand under a shower.” The angel circled the model of The Mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.
“But tough.” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this Mother can do or endure.” ”Can it think?” ”Not only think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator. Finally, the angel bent over and ran her fingers across the cheek. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you you were trying to put too much into this model. You can’t ignore the stress factor.” The Lord moved in for a closer look and gnetly lifted the drop of moisture to his finger where it glistened and sparkled in the light. ”It’s not a leak,” He said. “It’s a tear.” ”A tear?” asked the angel. “What’s it for?” ”It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, compassion, pain, lonliness, and pride.” ”You are a genius,” said the angel. The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there.”