Check Out These Louisiana Lunchables – Coming Soon?
Lunchables are a staple of the American school cafeteria, but we can do better, Louisiana. We have to do better. You know, for the kids!
In a perfect world, these seven Louisiana Lunchables could be found in your local grocery store. But we don’t live in a perfect world, do we?!
We totally could, though. We just need to convince Oscar Mayer that these would sell here in the Bayou State. Let’s make #LouisianaLunchables a thing.
We can do this, y’all!
If there’s better brain food for a growing student than a big, heaping helping of Crawfish Boil™ – we don’t know what it is, and we wouldn’t want to live in a world where it existed, anyway. This Louisiana Lunchable™ comes with plenty of mudbugs, a little corn, some taters, and whatever cookies they got on sale at the dollar store.
The secret to a good po’ boy is the bread, and this Louisiana Lunchable™ doesn’t disappoint! Guaranteed to get your kid hyped and ready to head back to class, the Po’ Boy Sammich™ comes with manager’s choice of meat, the good bread, some of that gravy you can’t reproduce at home no matter how hard you try, and a cookie. Just a cookie. Nothing fancy, sha.
We all have our own way of making jambalaya, but we promise this Jambalaya Bowl™ will make your kid the king (or queen) of the lunch table. We put a little rice in there for ya, some kinda meat or whatnot, a bunch of secret ingredients our grandma made us promise not to tell anyone about, and a processed cookie food product we made simply to meet our contractual obligations to some elves what live over yonder in a magical tree. (Don’t ask.)
There ain’t nothing on this good earth that’ll show your kids how much you love them better than our famous Cajun Boudin™. Guaranteed to have every other kid offering to trade their immortal souls for one heavenly bite of delicious boudin goodness, each Lunchable™ comes with all the rice and sausage you’d expect, all wrapped up in a delicious natural casing. We might include a cookie, if there’s room in the box. Sometimes there isn’t, but ain’t nobody usually care about dat.
Especially popular in those cold couple of days we get of winter around here, our Red Beans & Rice™ is guaranteed to stick to your kid’s ribs like whatever that gunk is on the floor of a movie theatre. And we mean that in a good way. Comes with plenty of authentic andouille sausage, two scoops of red beans, some rice, and the entire contents of our spice cabinet. It’s a flavor explosion, really.
You didn’t think we were gonna leave out the most famous Louisiana food of all time, didja? Our Gumbo Bowl™ is probably the best thing ever, with a homemade roux, plenty of chicken and sausage, and rice on the side. We’ll throw in some kinda cookie too, but we don’t know what kind yet because it depends on who’s having a sale whenever we make up a batch.
We know times is hard all over and you can’t always stock up on a full school week’s worth of Lunchables™ between paychecks, which is why we made We Broke Till Payday™. Not only is it our cheapest Louisiana Lunchable™, but nothing else comes close to recapturing the magic of growing up in the Bayou State – especially during the summer when Mama ain’t been to the store because you kids have been stepping on her last dang nerve all week and she just needs a little time to relax so go watch some cartoons or something, will ya?
Comes with stale crackers, a flimsy paper bowl with a fancy design on it to distract your kids from life’s troubles, and some milk the we know is out of date, but that’s just the Sell By date and it’s still good, so hush up and pour it on your crackers. We gotta go lie down.